Why does my bum hurt so much?

Having played soccer this afternoon, and drawing 2-2, my bum hurts. Particularly, somewhere in the joint behind my right gluteal muscles. I don't really know why. I'm not sure if it's in the hip joint itself, is the bum muscles or the side muscles or what. It just hurts. And I'd like to know why.

Now my knees hurt, but I know why that is. I'm pretty sure that's just wear and tear. Or perhaps it's simply (as described by my friend Laura) 'dicky knees' that I've inherited from my mother. I definitely blame my mother.

Perhaps I'll ask my brother about mybum tomorrow. He's done exercise science or something like that

And no, I did not score a goal today, although I did give the last pass for both of our two goals. It could well be argued that each of those passes didn't make a significant contribution to the goalscorers in their goalscoring duties, however.